AGE IS JUST A NUMBER?

When A. arrived over a year ago, she was this little thing, barely fitting into her size 3 toddler clothes. She weighed 31 pounds. We believed she was 3.

Now, I cannot pick her up: she weighs 50 pounds and has grown nearly three inches taller.

Which means she's healthy and thriving. But it also means she's the tallest kid in pre-school, has already lost three front teeth and has the motor skills of a first grader.

She is not four. Which means she was not three when she joined our family.

And so, we decided to change her official age, to make her a year older than what the birth certificate from Ethiopia says. That's a legal process -- just documents and signatures.

But what about her process? What about this girl who has been telling everyone who asks, "I'm four!"?

It's a delicate issue, for sure, and I couldn't figure out how to handle it.

Finally, one day, I just said to her, "We talked to your dentist, and when she saw you lost your front teeth, she let us know that you're actually five."

 "I'm five?"

"Yes, you're five."

"I can tell my friends at school I'm five?"

"Yes."

"Yayyyyyyyy! I'm five!"

"Yay, you're five!"

"And when I have my birthday, I'll be six?"

"That's right!"

She paused. "Mama? When's my birthday?"

Good question. We're still working on that one.

Comments

[Bridgett]

I know what you mean, Joyful Mom. It's so true that the "catch up growth" is swift and astonishing. The little girl we brought home disappeared so quickly! I miss her.

On the legal age change, we see how important her birthday is to her (maybe because of her older brother having his own) that we knew we needed to give her a legitimate one. It's all very fluid and unknowable on a certain level.

[Joyful Mom]

This is an issue for us too although we decided not to legally change the age. My girls are pleased to tell people they are "5ish" and we try not to make it a big deal. We've told them that birth dates just aren't written down where they lived and so far, they seem okay with it.

I did find it disorienting when they did about 3 years of growth in 1 year. It was like my babies were gone overnight. Sigh.

[kristine]

This brings up so many emotions in me. I'm happy that she's happy about being 5. But oh my, so many issues.